Ephesians 5:31 (NIV)

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

On June 16, 2010 my wife, Kim (Fox) and I will be married 31 years.  We meet in 2nd hour science class at the old Merrillville Junior High school in 7th grade. She had these funny looking cat eyed rimmed glasses; I wore the stylish big black framed kind. We had every class together except for Gym and Choir, I was in the Boy’s glee club, and she was in the Girls’ choir. We developed a friendship that had us taking many classes together throughout the rest of our time at Merrillville.

I went to ask her out on a date in our senior year, it took a lot of courage on my part and as we were talking she flashed a pre-engagement ring (at least that is my story, and I am sticking with it) in front and me and I remembered walking away. I remember not talking with her much our last year in high school.

I have always felt a calling to serve God, doing the Bert and Ernie Sunday School experience at Prince of Peace Lutheran in Merrillville during High School, preaching on Youth Sundays, and other wonderful things that I felt compelled to do, because I wanted people to have real joy in their life.

College time came, I went to the University of Evansville, it is always good for a Lutheran to attend a Methodist affiliated College, and I was having a good life. There were new horizons, new people, new relationships and the chance to do youth ministry at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church on Washington Street in Evansville. I was able to start serving the Lord through ministry.

Sometimes things happen in life that causes you to become down and out. I was very ill my second year in College, so ill, I went down to 157 in the course of several months. I was tired, sore and I had to come home from school…I was home and continued to keep getting sick.  There were months of medicine, treatment, etc. I was taken to Mayo Clinic.  After two trips, I was on the road to recovery. I started to live life again, But I had to get the strength to walk again, move my arms, use my hands, etc…I decided I was not going to be depressed or defeated.

In between the visit to Mayo, I was actually in an engagement with a wonderful woman. However, her father told me that it was not meant to be and that God had told him I was not the one for his daughter. Boy did I think he was wacky!  After some time of agony, we went our separate ways.  Remember life has a sense of humor and sometimes when you least expect it, Life does present new opportunities. Part of my recovery was to walk the Old Southlake Mall daily to get my legs working better. One day I ran into Kim Fox. {God did have a different plan for me!}

I was so happy to see Kim again and as we talked, I realized that I had just seen her the other day, while going down the road by my house. I thought she was married only to find out that she was not. She had just gone through a relationship that ended. We talked for a while – she made sure she told me where her mom worked in the mail.  I was in seventh heaven; I went home to look up the Fox family in the phone book, only to find so many of them I had no clue as which family might be hers.  After some time and some courage, I went to her Mom’s store, and I carefully asked how to reach Kim.

We started to date, however she let me know that I was not in her future, as she only dated skinny men, and those who had no illness, She was stubborn and so highly focused and driven I thought it was too much for me, this relationship is never going to work. Nevertheless, we continued to see each other. I even went to visit with her when she was home with Mono.

We were engaged on Super Bowl Sunday in 1979. It was supposed to happen on Valentine’s Day, but one thing lead to another, and I asked her if she would consider marrying me? She said yes!

Well we have been married for 31 years, we have had God in the center of our marriage for about 26 of those years, God was not gone, I was the one who had to take a break from God. I was bitter, I was angry and I blamed God for my life not being right. I later learned that I was stopping me, our marriage and the joy we were supposed to have. However, we made it through this together.

We have four wonderful children that I believe God gave us so we could help mold them for a HIM. We survived the loss of loved ones, her grandma Dorothy and my Dad within two weeks of each other in our second year of marriage. We survived my bruised ego, a failed family business that left us with 98% of the bills to pay; we survived the 14-16 hour workdays, we survived living in a small (very to small) house with four kids until the bills were paid. We have worked hard to help our kids know what we believe in and what we believe love is.  Yes, we have struggled, we have starved, and we have had everything and almost lost everything. Yet we have been with each other no matter what has happened. From the deepest valley to the tallest mountain, we have done it together the best way we know how and God has been with us on the entire journey.

God gave me a blessing the day Kim came into my life. When I look back on my life, I am constantly reminded that God has given me a very special partner and wife. Kim is my blessing.

Well, as we prepare for the next year of our marriage, I want to say thank you to my Father and God, for giving me Kim. I look forward to our growing up and growing old together.

Looking back, I realize how much we are blessed. Each of our four children is as different as the stars. We have cried as our oldest Jessica served the US Army going to Iraq twice, and cried with joy when she arrived back home to us. We have celebrated as we watched our oldest son Andy dance on the ballroom floor, we have been blown away by the “Voice” that God has given our Jillian (a diva in training for Opera), and we have worked hard at assisting our youngest son Russ through the special journey’s he has had to travel. Each one of our children is extremely different, talented, special and unique. We would not give them up for anything in the world. Each one is a special blessing from God.

Well enough rambling, I could write a book, maybe I should…

Darling Kim,
I love you with all of my being, I love you because God has given you to me.

I want you to know that I cherish you.

I cherish our life, our ministry together.

Happy 31st Anniversary and I pray there will be many more.

Tim

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